good luck figuring this one out!

sometimes, i do think, i have a skewed value system.

there's the verbal comments one makes, that one may or may not hold dear to one's heart;
there's the actions one partakes in;
there's the thoughts that process within the recesses deep within one's mind;
there's the act of verbalizing the thoughts within one's mind;
and there's descretion, which may or may not be applied.

it is much easier to say than to act; it's easier still to think and yet not act. but when you act upon thoughts which have not gone through a predetermined filter, there may be severe consequences to the actions that follow the thoughts which were not filtered.

all in a roundabout way to say, it is much easier to sin than it is to practice holiness; it is much easier to think and mull over the problems/questions/concerns rather than seek wise counsel; it is much easier to act on your own advice instead of taking the harder, more difficult path that somtimes lay before you.

why a skewed value system, you ask? well... it's a daily battle, one that has been going on for... all of time. it's not unique to me, or anyone who reads this. it is the consequence of living in a fallen world. the thing is, how often are you going to choose the fallen over the holy because it is easier? how long will you desire--anything--that you know will lead to your destruction? when will you stop questioning God and just...let God be God? and you...just be you. a you who doesn't fight back, who doesn't hold up a fist and shake it at the heavens, who doesn't silently curse and scream for the trails in your life, a you who desires the holiness of God over everything else?

when does the insanity stop, and the Spirit begin?

i question myself a lot lately... a lot about where my true devotion lies.
verbally: in Christ alone.
mentally: in Christ, and every other area that can creep in my mind at a moment's notice...
it is a constant, daily, moment by moment battle to keep your mind focused on the only thing that matters--Christ alone.
but what if...
does it truly matter? all the "if" questions...He already knows.
so why do i sit there and mull over the if's? does it show a lack of trust in God's wisdom?
maybe.
do i think i can come up with a better solution than the one God has chosen?
not by a long shot.
i think--thinking isn't necessary.

but faith is.
with a lot of grace on those days that i try to give God advice... because trust me, i try.
good thing He doesn't need it.