I grew up with an older brother, but I never knew him as well as I wanted. He was 22 years older than me, and already had a 4 year old daughter by the time I came into this world. My mom tells me we are alike, but not growing up with him, I don't always see it. I grew up obsessed with science fiction/fantasy--a common bond. I gave the Lord of the Rings trilogy a try because of him. When the movies came out we went as a family and watched it on Christmas Day--we took up one or two entire rows in the theater, so many of us went! I think we all went because of how much Scott loved these books, and it was contagious. I will never watch any of those movies without thinking of him.
His laugh was contagious. The way he looked at the world was different from anyone else I knew. He was a painter--brilliant painter. I never understood why he would not sell his work... apparently, for the same reason I never share most of my poetry. Regardless of how 'good' it may be, it's never quite good enough... something can be changed, tweaked, fixed, improved, pulled out more... maybe he was the re-instigator of our family's obsession with perfectionism... although everything he seemed to do was perfect, at least to me.
The man knew how to cook--and if the grill was involved, relinquish your right to the meat. You will never make anything half as good as what Scott would make. He could make grilled cheese a gourmet delicacy!
He loved to learn. He would pick up a history book and read it cover to cover, just to learn more. I love this about him; it is something I do. On those days I miss him particularly, that's what I do--I go find a random history book off my shelves and start reading. He knew so much, about so many topics. I would think of him as a walking encyclopedia. It was fun to sit and talk about random topics, he always knew a little bit about it... and he ALWAYS had an opinion about it!! (nothing like me... right? haha).
He made one promise to me he never kept--just one that stands out anyway. He always promised to take me to the races with him. He was incredibly passionate about NASCAR and the Chiefs--hence, my loyalty to a football team that seemingly doesn't understand the meaning of WIN these days, but it doesn't matter. NASCAR... I watch it on TV sometimes. Not near as often as Scott would, by any means... but it's something that makes me feel closer to him, while walking this earth. Maybe one day I will actually go to the races in person--my sisters always seem to go!! :)
There are SO MANY things I never had the chance to learn about my brother. I can only think of one day we spent alone together, talking. I wish there had been more of them. But, I can honestly say I am better off for having that one day, even, with him. His funeral was a packed house--at least it seemed that way to me--I could not believe how many people showed up, how many lives he touched. I should not have been surprised, though. He was an artist. He painted beautiful pictures: with words, with oils and acrylic, with pen and ink... and with his life. I miss you, Scott, and I thank God for all the beauty you left behind for those of us left here to remember you. Happy birthday, brother.