Sin-coated victory?

There was a lot of chatter on FB this morning about Iowa and gay rights, so I did a little looking... and this is what I come up with:

Iowa's Supreme Court ruled today in the case of Varnum v. Brien that the state's 1998 law that limits marriage to one man and one woman is unconstitutional. The decision makes Iowa the third state in the country, and the first that doesn't touch an ocean shore, to legalize same-sex marriage.

Oh, and I guess Pepsi is one of the top supporters of this movement, too. For the first time, I have started to take my beverage drinking habits into consideration of where my morals lie.

Now, I'm not well-versed enough, nor pithy enough, to state all my comments and thoughts on what ought to be constitutional... but when did America decide the founding fathers had it all wrong? I've already started a re-write in my head of "we the people"

We, the people...
who love sin more than holiness
who desire debauchery over sanctity
who prefer to murder the unborn
who find humility a weakness
who consider Oprah's book club to be the new gospel reading material
...are not only coming out of the closet, but we're dusting it out, too. My termites and pet spiders are claiming all rights to homosexual union (new debate: must the animals be of the same breed?) and demand to be recognized by all states as lawfully wed and allowed on each other's life insurance policies. And, in the act of violence where one of the activists who believe in ONE GOD, ONE CREATOR, ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN MARRIAGE were to step on mr. spider's wife and lead to her untimely demise, he demands all rights to sue that activist, throw paint on them, and throw them in the stocks at the city market as a public spectacle of evil. Oh, and feel free to throw the rotten tomatoes at them, too. But don't step on the spiders. It may be one of the 1,000,000,000 children. You may be next in the stocks for that one...